Me and Myself

Last Friday was a sad day for my wife Hope and my 4-year-old daughter Temi. It was the last day of Camp Sunshine, which was the camp my daughter enjoyed attending for the past four weeks. Temi loved going to camp. At camp she played with her friends, created masterful pieces of fine art (there is nothing like a proud father) and learned a lot of cute cheers (Hope and I have also learned a lot of cute cheers). Camp also afforded Hope the luxury of having time to do the errands that mothers do when children are not around. Hope has recently discovered that it is significantly cheaper to go grocery shopping without Temi. Temi likes to help Hope with the shopping and she tends to find various “healthy” foods that she insists we must have. Camp also gave Hope a chance (when the baby was sleeping) to enjoy some quiet time.

Unfortunately for Hope, this past week has been quite different from the previous weeks when Temi was going to Camp Sunshine. Hope no longer had the important time she needed to shop and re-charge her batteries. One day this past week when I came home for dinner I noticed that Hope was in need of a break from Camp Mommy. Temi was having a hard time adjusting to not having friends to play with, and she was bouncing off the walls (boredom can do that to you). I brilliantly suggested (this does not happen too often) to Hope that she should go out by herself to Graeters, and enjoy a delicious, refreshing “mocha chiller” (hint: if you are ever in a situation where you need to win Hope over, a mocha chiller is the way to go). Needless to say, Hope liked the idea, and literally ran out the door. As Hope was leaving, Temi wanted to know where her mommy was going. I explained to Temi that mommy needed “mommy and mommy time”. Temi’s face broke out in a big smile as she began to lecture me on how the concept of mommy and mommy time makes absolutely no sense. She explained: we can have Temi and mommy time, we can have Temi and daddy time or we can even have daddy and mommy time, but there is no way a person can have time with themselves. As she completed her thoughts she proclaimed with hearty laughter “what is she going to do, talk to herself? Daddy you are so funny.”

Questions for the Shabbos Table: Most Monday mornings I like to have meetings with myself to organize the upcoming work week. However, I must admit that it is seldom that I have a meeting with myself to reflect on how I am doing in my personal life.

I believe many of us enjoy some quiet time with ourselves, but do we use the time to learn more about ourselves? Are we fully aware of the areas in our lives that we need to improve? Do we know what makes us happy or what makes us sad? Do we have a clear picture of the direction our lives are drifting towards? As a Rabbi, I have the opportunity to work with many people in the area of personal growth. It is not uncommon for someone to explain to me how he/she has ignored a problem until a situation arose, which made ignoring it no longer an option