sticks and stones may break my bones but words will always harm me

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will always harm me

You’ve just sent an e-mail. And by contemporary standards it’s a real gem, which is to say it’s glib and gossipy and it shows that you sure know how to filet somebody. You are, in short, everything a post-modern communicator should be. This time, you’ve got the goods on somebody in the office, and you’ve just shared the wealth with the click of a mouse. And then it dawns on you. The e-mail went to the wrong place. You sent it to the victim of your pleasantries, who happens to be your boss. A minute ago you were a budding star, now you are unemployed (Richard Greenberg Aish.com).

It is safe to assume that if the previous scenario happened to any of us we would be filled with regret. Racing through our minds would be the thoughts of frustration that we were careless and failed to double-check the email address. We would ask ourselves how we could have been so careless! We would probably become absorbed in self-pity feeling bad about ourselves. We would be left pondering why bad things happen to good people and what did we do to deserve this?
Unfortunately, many of us would fail to consider the possibility that we may have hurt another human being. There might be another person who regrets the e-mail even more than we do.
A close relative shared with me the following painful story that happened to him: It was the end of the 12th grade school year and four good friends decided to celebrate their graduation by taking a short vacation to Orlando, Florida. These four friends were inseparable and have been good friends for several years. As all good friends have, they had their share of occasional disputes. From the very beginning of the trip one particular person was being difficult, and spoiling the vacation for the others. By the end of the second day of the big vacation, some members had wished that the spoil sport had not come on the trip.
That evening in their hotel room, the difficult individual feigned slumber. After carefully checking that he was sleeping, my relative started to vent and share “kind” thoughts about his peer. Once the can of worms was opened everyone joined in to take “punches” too. In the middle of their discussion the “sleeping” individual sat up with tears in his eyes. He looked at them and told them he heard every single word. For the rest of the trip he was in a daze and said very little.
My relative never regained his friendship with the “victim.” My relative told me the look of pain on his friend’s face was heart breaking; he finally understood the tragedy of Loshon Horah.


Question for the Shabbos table: Why do we enjoy talking about other people? Why does gossip generate so much money in the entertainment industry? There are numerous talk shows dedicated to highlighting the downfalls of others and countless magazines that proudly advertise that their gossip is the juiciest.


Challenge: A large part of this week’s Torah portion is dedicated to the spiritual disease called Tzaraas. This disease was contracted when one spoke Loshon Horah. All were able to see the infamous white spots upon you and knew what you must have done. Unfortunately, we no longer have the immediate and severe consequence of Tzaraas to keep our speech in check. My challenge to us is to simply pay attention to how often we talk about and hurt other people behind their backs.