Look in the Mirror

Look in the Mirror

Catching up to Rabbi Aronowitz has become part of my daily morning routine. Most mornings, Rabbi Aronowitz (for some crazy reason that I cannot figure out) walks to the Kollel for davening. Since I am such a kind hearted soul (or extremely lazy, to the point that it even bothers me when other people are exercising), I always try to catch up to Rabbi Aronowitz and offer him a lift. It gives me great pleasure to pull up next to him and motion for him to hop in. However, I must admit, the other day I was tempted to slow down, wave and drive off (please don’t tell anyone, I will deny it).

At the beginning of this week I mentioned to Rabbi Aronowitz that I have been catching him at almost the same spot every morning. We were both amused by it and I was even more amused to learn that I am waking up a whole 20 minutes later than he is. We all know how critical those extra few minutes are in the morning. Especially these last few months where my four year old likes to jump into my bed 30 painful minutes before I have to get out of bed. She comes into my bed and then demands the fluffier pillow and tends to be a blanket hog.

During my drive this past Tuesday I could not find Rabbi Aronowitz. The different possibilities of his whereabouts raced through my mind. Did he actually come to his senses and start driving? I finally found him as I was pulling into the parking lot in front of the Kollel. The thought that dominated my mind, was that Rabbi Aronowitz must have woke up even earlier than usual. What could he have possibly been thinking? His waking up earlier caused me much distress that I felt the need to confront him. I mustered up the courage and marched up to him, and in a calm and collect manner asked him “What possessed you to get up earlier today?” He looked at me with a big smile and simply said, “I didn’t, you’re late!”


Question for the Shabbos Table:

Human nature lends itself to look for the blame in others. It does not even occur to us that there is a remote possibility that the fault might be within us. It is so much easier to blame others before taking a look in the mirror. What are we afraid of?
Imagine a world where people are motivated to improve themselves and not others. We would have peace and harmony instead of strife and disappointments. What is holding us back from improving the quality of our lives?

The Designer Baby

The Designer Baby


This Email has been inspired by Yaakov Solomon of Aish.com


This past week after my four-year-old daughter Temi’s bath, she was determined to comb her curls out of her hair. She told me that she wants to have straight hair! However, her cute red curls and charismatic personality have helped her become quit popular amongst many in Columbus. Recently, on a trip to New York, we stopped at a rest stop in Pennsylvania that was filled with a lot of truck drivers. As we walked through the rest stop we could not help but stare at the brave and “interesting” looking men that shlep our basic essentials throughout the country. With a beard and a yarmulka embracing my head my family was a site to see for them as well.
As we continued to walk through this lovely rest stop we heard a man with three teeth and a stained white beard holler, “look at those cute red curls,” and laughed like only a truck driver could. I loved it, (perhaps because the red curls are my contribution to my daughter), my wife wanted to bury herself from embarrassment. Meanwhile, my cute daughter was busy yelling at a different truck driver that he should be wearing a yarmulka on his head because he is a boy. At this point I wanted to join my wife in the hole that she had already dug for herself. Fortunately, the truck driver thought it was the funniest thing that he has ever heard and also began to laugh like only a truck driver could. He walked over to my daughter and gave her a big pinch on the cheek (gross!) and shook my hand (yuk!). It was a great moment for the melting pot, the Drandoffs and truck drivers bonded as one.
Recently Dr. Jeff Stienberg announced that statistically he has done a good job in selecting gender, hair color and eye color of babies that are a product of IVF at his clinics in New York and Los Angeles. He explained that he uses the Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) to manipulate the features of the baby. PGD was originally developed exclusively for the purpose of identifying genetic defects before implantation. They are now using it to identify other genes in the embryo process in order to implant those desired genes. Essentially, this gives the parents the ability to design their child just as they would their living room.

Question for the Shabbos Table:

Is it ethical to use PGD to design your child? Would you classify this as playing the role of G-d? Is there a deeper problem of not being content with the gift you have received? Or do you think everyone is entitled to utilize breakthroughs in modern science as they see fit and if it is available, why not? If you believe it is appropriate to use it where would you draw the line between appropriate and inappropriate?


My Thoughts:

Using PGD to “perfect” your child is a missed opportunity. We are put on this earth to grow and develop ourselves through the obstacles and challenges that G-d places before us. My wife and I hope that our daughter comes to embrace her beautiful red curls. Temi is now presented with the challenge of appreciating what she has, instead of dreaming to have what her friends have. To play with genetics is a mistake.


Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Feel Free to forward!

The Big Picture

The Big Picture

When my wife and I married, we vowed to never become one of those obsessed, corny and tacky theme crazed Shaloch Manos families. However, it happens to the best of us, and we converted quite early on in our Purim career, in fact it started on our very first Purim. Our first year married we decided to make fun of our last name and we did a dandruff theme (I am sure many of you are confused because many people think that our last name is dandruff, but it is actually DRANDOFF). Everything in the shaloch manos bag was white, and we even included a small bottle of Head and Shoulders Drandoff controlled shampoo. It was cute idea and we received encouraging feedback. The following year, Purim was on a Friday, so of course we had to do the Shabbos theme. The next year we did birthday bags in honor of our daughter Tema’s first birthday (she was born a few days before Purim). The trend has continued every year, and as good Jews, we now have a new stress to stress about every year. When February arrives wife asks the resounding question “What is going to be our Purim theme this year?”

My wife and I decided for Purim this year we were going to do the peace-loving thing and be hippies for Purim. We created a hippie theme and of course we dressed like hippies on Purim day. I donned jeans, as I could not find bell-bottoms, and a tie-dyed shirt over a long sleeve T-shirt. I sported a black afro with a string around my hair (representing a make shift bandana, as a real bandana would not fit around the afro), and I got my hands on some really funny buttons (Jews need love, I shot JR Ewing, Holy Moses), as well as the hallmark of any true hippie; the peace sign necklace. I looked awesome! To my wife’s horror many people commented that I looked very natural and comfortable as a hippie.

On Purim day my four-year-old daughter looked at me and started to laugh. Wearing a big smile on her face she said, “ Daddy you look so silly.” Out of curiosity I asked her “what is so silly?” I thought she was going to comment on my stylish afro, the string around my head, the colorful clothing she is not used to me wearing, but that was not the case. She gave me a look of disappointment and explained “Daddy only girls are supposed to wear necklaces, not boys.”

Question for the Shabbos Table: Are we any different than my adorable four year old? What amazed me about my daughter was her ability to focus on a detail and miss the big picture? She was so confused by the necklace that she did not even think too much about my new hairdo, or funky clothing.
How many times in our lives do we get so obsessed about details that we miss the more significant point? The times we are bothered when a person was not particularly nice to us, do we even consider the possibility that our friend is having a hard day? When we stress out about the plummeting economy, and our 401k’s of blessed memory, are we appreciating that we are fortunate to be surrounded by people who care about us, and are supporting of us, whether it be family or friends?

Have a wonderful and “peaceful” Shabbos!

Channukah VS Purim

Rabbi Menachem Frank who is a colleague of mine from the Minneapolis Kollel sent me the following question. I thought it was so fascinating I wanted to share it with you


Upon analyzing the difference between the Chanukah story and the Purim story, we find a striking contrast in both the nature of the persecution, as well as the nature of the Jewish response.

In the Purim story, the Jewish people are faced with genocide. Complete extermination by evil Haman and his cohorts.

Whereas in the Chanukah story, the Jewish people are faced with religious persecution – albeit under pain of death. The Greek-Assyrians really wanted us very much alive, so long as we adopted their culture, pagan temples, and gymnasiums etc.

I would compare the Purim persecution of physical danger to the Holocaust and the Chanukah persecution of spiritual danger to Communist Atheism.

Question for the Shabbos Table:

Why when confronted with physical danger in the Purim story was the Jewish response one of prayer, repentance, and political maneuvering (Queen Esther in the palace), while our response to the religious persecution in the Chanukah story was very physical in nature; to fight to the death despite our minimal numbers and negligible training (Maccabbes/ Hasmonean wars)?

My comment:

When the Jewish people are facing physical persecution it is an indication that God is not happy with our level of spirituality. There are several places throughout the Tanach where it is clear that Israel lost wars and battles due to their lacking in their service to God. Both temples in Jerusalem were destroyed (physical destruction) because of our spiritual decline. Therefore, the appropriate response has to be spiritual in nature. We have to pray, fast and contemplate how we can improve ourselves as servants to God.

Spiritual persecution is an opportunity for the Jewish people to demonstrate that their entire existence is for the purpose of serving God. It is not a time to exclusively pray but to take physical action and demonstrate that we are willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of our relationship with God. We are not willing to live a life of denouncing God and committing to a new religion. Therefore, it is imperative that we must put up a fight.